WRITTEN BY JERRY TOOMER PH.D. (AUTHOR)
I was struck recently by two articles that focus on why emotional connections are so important in learning.
The first, was an Australian parenting site, focused on babies and young children. It outlined the importance of emotionally connecting every day with children in order to build their confidence and willingness to experiment. My one year old granddaughter, Sophia, is a perfect example. She is walking (oh my is she walking!) and seeks out both escalators and steps to conquer! She looks for encouragement from Mom and Dad, and sometimes G’pa that yes, with a little assistance, she can surmount the imposing set of steps ahead of her. She seems fearless and responds incredibly quickly to both the non verbal and verbal encouragement of those whom she knows and trusts.
No matter what your child’s, or grandchild’s, age, there are things we can do every day to send the message that your child is special and important. The Austalian learning website, Raisingchildren.net.au points out the following simple behaviors:
-Look at your child and smile at her/him.
-Show interest in what your child is doing – ask him/her to tell you about it if they can.
-Pay attention and listen closely when your child talks to you.
-Make up some special rituals you can share together.
This is pretty simple stuff, but it’s really, really important for child development especially in an age where technical (computer and iphone) distractions are ever-present.
Now, change gears a bit with me. Fast forward to David Brooks in the NYTimes on January 18th, 2019. He approaches the same topic but focuses on learning in general. He notes that “emotion is not the opposite of reason; it’s essential to reason. Emotions assign value to things. If you don’t know what you want, you can’t make good decisions.”
For example, even learning a language has an important emotional component. Patricia Kuhl of the Univ of Washington gave infants Chinese lessons. Some infants took face to face lessons with a tutor. Their social brain was activated through direct eye contact….they learned at an amazing clip. Others watched lessons on a video screen. They paid rapt attention, but learned nothing.
They needed the warm, visual embrace of a teacher / tutor in order for their brain to absorb what they were hearing and seeing.
So too, our organizations need to establish the emotional connections that foster learning and growth. What is the quality of our emotional relationships at our school, or company? Do our leaders provide the emotional connections and warm encouragement that foster learning?
Just because we are adults the idea that “emotions are not that important” doesn’t hold water. Making genuine eye contact; expressing caring gestures; intensely listening to others so that they know their ideas are heard, and valued…all of these are rooted in how we learn as kids.
Fortunately, these social and emotional learning principles are now embedded into “the way we do school” in many systems. For a more detailed discussion see: https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2017/03/the-social-emotion….
Our learning needs as adults are similar to those of kids.
Think about it.
Connect and encourage in whatever role you play in your organization.
Originally posted January 20, 2019, by Psychology Today